Album Reviews

Review: The Divine Right of Kings by Groan

What’s up stoners? Traci “Stoner” Saunders back with another review. Tonight after work I treated myself to a nice long spliff and an album I was told would fuck with me if I really listened closely. I sparked up, put the headphones on and away we go.

Who are Groan? Fuck if I know so I looked them up. Well this appears to be their 3rd release. Fourth if you include a single on Bandcamp. Well the album cover looks interesting. I like the detail. Damn that would look good mounted on my wall.

Anyways, the album opens up with “Weeping Jesus.” Holy fucking shit. This shit is fucking epic, like Black-motherfucking-Sabbath. There’s is certainly a shit ton of Satan worshiping going on here. The voice in the back ground was fucking with me. I have the headphones on and thought someone broke into the house for a second.

I like the vocals. If I had to stereotype a grand wizard, this dude’s voice would be it. A middle aged Colonial Sanders wearing a white turban and white robe. And he’s got a fu manchu mustache. That’s how I’d imagine him. And the singing, it’s almost like he’s not only singing but at the same time there’s subliminal messages and I should follow his every word. Take me to your leader.

Whoa, I’ve heard some pretty fucked up shit in my life but this little preaching before “Magic Man” really got me. The song is a pretty bad ass one too.

Now movies use a whole lot of music to set the mood for scenes of importance and get you all into it. I think “Dissolution” should be the song behind this big slave uprising to take over the masters. Imagine if the slaves that built the pyramids revolted against the Egyptians. Got that visual? Now think of some Robin Hood type character gets all these people behind him and then the uprising begins. The feeling of the song starts of dark with a feel of despair. Then, things start looking up, motivation and will to join the new leader. Finally, hope. There is a light, we have revolted, we win. If I don’t make sense, blame the weed.

“Atomic Prophets” makes me want to venture off into space like Flash Gordon.

“Black Death” must be the marching bands main song at their local high school. If it’s not, it should be. Another killer tune right there.

I’m telling you, this album is the shit. The Divine Right of Kings is a lot like some of the best weed. You know, the GOOD stuff. The stuff that your “guy” can get. It’s like these guys just worshiped Iron Maiden and Sir Lord Baltimore all day, started a band and started writing their own shit. It’s dark like a blunt and twisted like the ends of a joint. It’s very occult like sound at times. Pretty wicked shit here. The album is supposed to come out at the end of October through Soulseller Records. It should be on CD, LP and digital.

Stay stoned my friends.

Traci “Stoner” Saunders